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| |    Maintaining Values in Today's Complex World by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Raising children is more and more puzzling for many parents. Parents of the 21st century often worry that we've lost a lot of our old-fashioned convictions about what kind of morals, ambitions, and character we want our children to have. We are uncertain and worried about what kind of world awaits them as adults. In an uncertain world, with more uncertainty to come, we do well to ask ourselves just what our goals are in raising our children. Is doing well in school our most important objective for them? Is the ability to sustain intimate human relationships more important? Do we want them to be individualistic with a competitive edge so they can succeed in a dog-eat-dog society? Or do we want them to learn to cooperate and sometimes to renounce their own desires for the good of others? If the ultimate goal of raising children is the fashioning of a fully formed adult, then just what kind of person do we want that adult to be in order to be a happy and productive member of society? These questions cut to the heart of much of raising children. Parenting is about choices. In order to decide what's best for your child, you will always be well-served to step back and think about these tough questions before making a decision. So many parents get totally caught up in the difficult day-to-day issues of how they are parenting that they lose perspective about why they are parenting in the first place. I hope that raising your children will help you to understand your own ideas about what's really important to you in life and that this insight will guide the choices you make about raising your child. Use your values and beliefs to guide you Psychological concepts and advice about child-rearing don't help much unless they are backed up by a sense of what's right and proper--in other words, by a firm foundation of core values. You are raising your children in the context of very confusing and rapidly changing times at the beginning of the 21st century. Your goals and aspirations for your child are going to be greatly influenced by these times and the prevailing ideals and beliefs. A central core of values and beliefs that remain unshaken by tumultuous social changes will serve as your compass as you chart a course for your family. I hope that, at least once in a while, after yet another hectic day, you will sit back and reflect on where you are going and whether your day-to-day interactions with your children reflect your true values and dreams for their future.
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