• Boys--If a boy exclusively wanted dresses and dolls, preferred to play only with girls, and said he wanted to be a girl, I would consider the possibility that something had gotten mixed up in his identification as a result of misunderstandings or anxieties. Because this can be a great source of unhappiness for the child, who may be rejected by his peers, his behavior should be looked into by a professional.
  
  It is absolutely normal for preschool-age boys to play at being females (mostly mothers) and to play at taking care of dolls and doing other things that used to be called women's work. It is unusual for boys to only want to do these things, to the exclusion of other play.
  
  When young boys seem most comfortable taking on female-oriented roles, some research suggests that they may be more likely to be gay when they grow up, but this is by no means certain. Gender identity and sexual orientation are really separate issues.



• Girls--If a girl wants to play a lot with boys and occasionally wishes she were a boy, that is normal. She may be showing a positive identification with her father or brother, or she may be reacting to taunts about girls not being good or strong or clever enough and testing her own limits.
  
  However, if she wants to play only with boys and is always unhappy about being a girl, I'd suggest taking her for a consultation with a professional.
  
  Again, the issue is not whether she will grow up to be a lesbian (she may or may not). The issue is to help her feel comfortable with who she is in the present.

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