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What You Can Do about Bed-Wetting

by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
The advice on this page applies to primary nocturnal enuresis--that is, nighttime wetting that has always been there (rather than being a new problem) in a child who is otherwise healthy.

Without any special treatment at all, about one in every seven children with a wetting problem grows out of it in the course of any given year. In the meantime, try these things before going to the doctor:

  • Limit fluids. It makes sense to keep your child from drinking large volumes of fluid before bed, but it doesn't help to make him uncomfortably thirsty. "Nothing to drink after dinner" is probably too harsh and will only lead to resentment or sneaking. Caffeine-containing drinks (cola, lots of non-cola soft drinks, coffee, tea) increase urine output, so nix them after lunch, if not entirely.


  • Wake him up. Try waking your child at midnight or 1 a.m., or at some time when he's likely to be dry. Have him go to the bathroom and urinate, even if he says at first that he doesn't have to. The point is to try. Give him praise for trying.

    For an older child who is motivated, help him set an alarm clock to do the middle-of-the-night waking.


  • Use nightlights. Make sure your child is not afraid to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. It helps if there is a light in the bathroom and it is not so far from your child's room that he has to walk through a long, deserted hallway.

    If the bathroom is too far away, set up a chamber pot in your child's room. He can empty it in the morning.


  • Keep a consistent schedule. Try to keep to a regular bedtime and ensure that your child gets enough sleep. Being overtired often makes wetting worse.


  • Make a "sandwich" bed. This is a plastic sheet, covered with a cloth sheet, covered with another plastic sheet, and finally another cloth sheet. This way, when there is wetness, your child can simply pull off the wet sheet and plastic and have a nice dry bed to get back into. Keeping a towel and fresh pajamas by the bed helps, too. The point is for your child to get used to sleeping in a dry bed. Once this happens, he will be even more motivated to keep it dry.


  • Ask your child to help clean up. Let your child help throw wet sheets into the wash. If he's old enough, he can also add the soap and turn the machine on. The point is not to punish your child, but to allow him to take responsibility in a more grown-up way.


  • Reward success. Use a sticker chart or calendar to keep track of dry nights. Do this only if there are some dry nights, at least two or three a week. If there are no dry nights, consider keeping track of dry half nights.

    A half night would be from bedtime to the time you wake your child up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Or measure the wet spot and encourage your child to make it smaller and smaller (meaning that he wakes up sooner, before his whole bladder is emptied).

    The point is to set your child up for success. Add a small tangible reward--a treat like a small toy, a movie, or extra time playing with you--if this is enough to get your child more excited about trying hard to stay dry. (Once he's dry, the reward can go away. Being dry is its own reward!)


  • Use positive language. Talk about "being dry" rather than "not wetting." Be encouraging, but not so involved that it becomes your project. Ownership (your child's) is critical. Keep positive. Don't let your child become too discouraged if things don't work out at first. You are in it for the long haul.


  • Present a helpful attitude. Remember: Bed-wetting is not a reflection on your parenting or your child's IQ, and it's not a desire on his part to make your life difficult. Children sometimes pretend that they don't care about the bed-wetting, but that is almost always a way that they defend themselves against feeling bad and incompetent.


It's important to remember that the wetting is your child's issue, and so it's a matter of him learning to take control of his own body. To do this, he will need to work at it. The motivation has to come from within him; it cannot come from you. You can help by being supportive in a realistic way without pushing too hard or making him feel more ashamed than he probably already feels.

It is also good to try to maintain some distance from the wetting problem. It belongs to your child. On the other hand, he may need your protection from other family members (usually younger siblings) who might use the wetting as a convenient point of attack. I think that this is a good time to enforce the family rule against hurting, whether with fists or with words.

 RELATED INFORMATION
*  The Basics of Bed-Wetting
*  The Doctor's Approach to Bed-Wetting
*  Bed-Wetting and Daytime Wetting


Created May 25, 2000
Reviewed August 15, 2004
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